Monday, November 26, 2012
I'd never thought loving someone I couldn't have would be as hard as it was. I'd let the months roll by, not keeping my feelings in check. Knowing, and yet not knowing at the same time, where it was going to leave me. Possibly a little lighter since he took part of my heart. I wasn't sure if I'd even get it back. Or whether I'd want him to give it back. Because I think that would probably hurt a helluva lot more than I was feeling right now.
It started in summer break and I was definitely not to blame. Maybe a small part. But the rest was all him. I'd been swimming with friends. I'd known him from his group that used to meet at the waterhole with every other classmate for the past five years. For exactly four of those years, I'd hadn't uttered a word to him or his group, but by the fifth year, he came over and started chatting to us girls, like he had only begun to notice our group. I hadn't understood why but it was kind of nice having new people around. Audrey, Heather and Claire were great company, but when it came to our conversations it always revolved around gossiping, shopping and cute boys. I'd only just begun to get a little tired of it. None of us had a boyfriend but in turn each had a crush on one of the boys from school. Except me. Boy, I didn't realise at the time how lucky I was, and how hard I was going to fall.
"Triny come over here!" Audrey called to me. I pulled myself out of the water and wrapped a towel around my waist and walked over. A guy who towered over Audrey stood in board shorts and a singlet.
"Hi, I'm Trinny." I smiled and shook his hand.
"Jesse," he smiled back. He flicked his dark hair out of his eyes. Those eyes were an ocean of blue with a hint of green.
"Jesse and the other guys have invited us to a party down by the lake. You up for it Trin?" I nodded excitedly and glanced over at my other two friends.
"Great, I'll see you guys at about 7 then." He looked at me a little longer than necessary then turned and headed back to his side of the creek.
We rocked up at the lake house about a minute to 7. Both Audrey and Claire were in the process of fixing up their hair. Heather took a swig out of her flask which contained mostly vodka and a smidgen of orange juice. 'To take the bite off it' her brother had said. I was only a little nervous. I'd been to my fair share of parties but this was the first time that all four of us would be there. I could hear Green Day playing inside.
The door opened and revealed to girls dressed in halters and mini skirts. The smiled widely and gestured for us to come inside. With the door open the music was almost deafening but we stepped through, our own smiles plastered on our faces. We did the introductions and were led out the back.
Heather's brother managed to smuggle three flasks of alcohol so we had been pretty lucky. I looked around. The place was lit up with fairy lights. A pool table stood to the left of the back patio, on the right a long bar that covered the width. There was maybe a little grass before being greeted by the biggest pool I'd ever seen. My eyes found Audrey's and they were as wide as my own. She mouthed a wow before we were bombarded by the boys from the swimming hole. There was so much chatter that I couldn't catch everything that was said until Jesse came around and handed me a beer.
"Glad you could come. What do you think of the place. Pretty awesome hey?" He looked around as he said it and all I could do was nod and agree.
"If you want to come around here you can put your stuff down and jump in the pool. Or we can all sit round the fire and talk." He nodded to the campfire halfway down the paddock and my mouth dropped. This place was huge. Easily three times the size of my parents property, and then some.
"Campfire it is." I responded.
We spent alot of the night getting to know eachother and before long I could feel the effects of the vodka kicking in. We danced and laughed. Then danced some more. Midnight came too soon and we all had to go. Technically we weren't meant to be at a party without parents but luckily Heather's older brother told us he'd pick us up and take us back to their place.
"I had a good time Trin." He smiled. He was a little drunk too but I didn't care.
"Me too. We will have to do this again." I said and hesitated trying to read his body language. He leaned in, and as if I knew what he wanted I tilted my head up and our lips met. It was short and clumsy but my head swam from the moment that i leaned into him for support. His arms wrapped around me and too soon the kiss ended. He leaned back.
"Wow." I murmered before opening my eyes. He stared into mine and I blushed realizing I'd said that out loud. He gave me one last kiss and walked us out holding my hands the whole way.
Heather's brother Jack waited in his beat up commodore, a smirk on his face. Jesse and I swapped numbers and I jumped in and waved goodbye. The moment Jack turned the corner we all giggled and high fived!
That's how it started. One simple good willed gesture. He was a good looking guy and was into me, and I was head over heels for him from the first kiss.
Somehow, the last thing I'd expected was him breaking my heart. But hey, I'm getting ahead of myself here.
(c) M Freeman "Charlie" 2012
To Be Continued ...
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Sometimes, I feel like there is so much that needs to be done, and that I want to do and I only have so many hours in a day to achieve this. Running two blogs (Which have been slightly neglected.. I'm sorry) working full time, studying Photography, raising a kid, keeping up my review books and attempting to write my own stories... no wonder I feel like I'm burning the candle at both ends. It makes me wonder whether I'm doing too much? And the funny thing is, I'm not willing to give up any of it. Although not having to work full time would be awesome but only achievable if I actually won the lotto.. also known as Keep Dreaming!
I never participated in NaNoWriMo this year, and I feel completely slack about it. I just didn't feel like I had a story that was worth telling by the time Nano came around. As a writer you'd think I'd be beaming with story ideas, verses, anything that could kick start a good story. I did, but like last year and the year before, I'd tried to write from an idea I'd had, not knowing where to go with it, and halfway through Nano.. it was a big flop. I mean seriously, a big fat mental blank/block whatever you might call it.
Did anyone else feel like that.. or am I the only one?
Anyways that's all from me for now. I vouch to write a little more often on here that I have been lately so stay tuned.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Daily Dose Monday was created and hosted by Good Golly Miss Holly!
Daily Dose Monday is a weekly meme where you get to share inspiring and awesome images with others! If you'd like to join in all you have to do is make a post on Monday and include images that you find inspiring and magical etc. that you would like to share with your readers. (oh don't forget to mention Good Golly Miss Holly )
Posted by Charlie at 8:55 PM