Friday, July 1, 2011

Random Writing: Things I Hate About You

There were a number of reasons I wrote this.  I've had friends that regret people they've had in their life, as well as myself who has liked people against my own better judgement but couldn't let go even when it hurt.  I hope that makes sense.  I've chosen this piece as fictional as I hadn't really aimed it at anyone in particular but let out all those bitter feelings seep into the writing.  Hope you take something away from it

Things I Hate About You
  I hate the way you smile at me and my heart skips a beat.
  I hate how you always know what to say to rope me back in, when I'm beginning to drift away.
  I hate the way I always look for you when I know you are around.
  I hate the way someone says your name while I'm close by, and my attention is drawn to that person.
  I hate how you are always so hot and cold towards me.  I don't know whether I'm coming or going.
  I hate how one day you will message me and be all chatty and the next day you don't send me a single thing, like I've done something wrong.. even though you are probably just busy or don't want to talk to me that day.
  I hate how you act like you don't care while my insides are twisted up into little knots of confusion.
  I hate how she has you in a way that I never will.
  I hate when I've convinced myself I'm over you..  and then you show up and I forget that I'm supposed to feel nothing.
  I hate how you started all of this.  If it weren't for you I wouldn't be so caught up in the brief moments we share.  I wouldn't have strayed from where I was.  I wouldn't have even considered doing anything like that.  But what's done is done and I have to deal with the after effects of everything while you get to pretend it never happened.
  I hate you, for the things that happened and the feelings you caused me to feel.
  But I hate myself more for letting it all happen.  For dropping my guard and letting you in.  For letting you have a piece of me that you're not willing to give back.  I hate that I still like you, even after all the hurt.
 Things I Hate About You © Melissa ‘Charlie’ Freeman 2011

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